What Death Has Taught Me About Life

On Friday June 15th, Hailey's friend Maddy went to be with Jesus. Just 10 days shy of her 4th birthday. When I found out my heart broke into a million pieces. Her viewing was on Thursday and I fought with myself on if I should go or not. I didn't know her parents very well but they had been to Hailey's party and we had seen them at some daycare functions. My head was screaming NO! My heart on the other hand was saying go. My heart won. It was one of the hardest things I have done. Even though we didn't know each other well when I hugged her mom and it was just us, we were connected. Connected because we are moms and because our kids have been with each other almost everyday for the past 3 almost 4 years. I know we will never understand this side of Heaven and I know our God is a good, loving God. Is it fair? No, but it has really put things in a different light. The following list is what I want to change to make everyday count.

• Get out from behind the camera and be in more pictures.
• Be a more intentional parent by spending more one on one time with the girls, creating memories.
• Date my hubby! Have dates at home, and getting out of the house at least once a month.
• Open my home and have people over.
• Really start to take care of my health. I want to be around for a long time, so getting healthy is the first start.
• SMILE MORE
• LAUGH MORE

Life is so, so precious. I have always known that but have been just going through the motions. I have taken so much for granted and I want God to know how thankful and grateful I am for all that he has given me. I took a completely different route than what I thought I would, but I ended up where I have always wanted to be, as a wife and mother.

How will you make your days count??????

It's been a while

I know it has been FOREVER since I posted a blog but life is busy and this is one thing that hasn't made the cut. I thought I would give a little update about life and such.

First I finished bootcamp and started a new program called ChaLEAN Extreme, it's from the makers of P90X and I love it! Michael has been doing it along with me and that has been wonderful because I feel like we are both trying to get healthy instead of just me. The kids even join in sometimes. My eating habits are getting better, not perfect but I am really trying. I have lost about 8lbs and not sure how many inches but I know I feel better and my clothes are getting looser. I have tried not to make it all about a the number but just being happy and healthy and off of my blood pressure medication.

The body restoration class unfortunately had to take a back seat, who am I kidding, I just didn't make time for it. I don't know why, maybe I was afraid of what I would discover while doing the journaling and art projects. It runs again this summer and I have all the supplies and will commit myself to do it no matter the outcome. I don't want to be afraid of what could come up. I just want to deal with the issue and move past it, let God heal my hurts.

The kids are wonderful. The only real issue we are having is with Hailey. She WILL NOT go to bed at night, she always finds a reason to get up. We try to plan ahead and guess what she might want but it's always something new. So I printed out a Dora bedtime chart she is going to help me put together,  talked to Michael about a bedtime routine, and wrote out on a poster board the Supernanny stay in bed technique, we will be starting tonight, all prayers are welcomed!

One last note, I am going to be an AUNT! I am over the moon for my brother and his girlfriend. I can't wait to meet their baby girl in August. It's still strange that my little brother is going to be a Dad but he will be amazing and his girlfriend is going to be a great Mom!

!!!!ARGH!!!!!

I hope everyone has had a wonderful start to the New Year! I on the other hand have been sick since Jauary 1 :( I have not been able to start off this year like I had hoped to but I am starting to get better. I have had an awful cough and thought I was getting better so I attempted my 30 Day Shred video, ummmm not so good. It had me coughing so much that I threw up! I am going to attemp Zumba tonight but can't make any promises. On a happier note my oldest is having her birthday party Saturday and her birthday is Monday! I can't believe she is going to be 8!!!! Where has the time gone???? I have some fun things planned for her on Monday since she is out of school. I go back to work on Tuesday and I am ready. I am ready to get back on a normal schedule. I have cleaned up some of the hot spots in my house but didn't take before pics. It is so much better when I look at those areas and they are all organized. My Brave Girls Club class also started this week and I will post about it soon. Then my bible study starts on Sunday and bootcamp is in 2 weeks! I can't wait!

Goal # 2

2. My Home

There are some areas in my home that are a hot mess! Mainly because I haven't taken the time organize and get rid of things. Right now I am on my Christmas break and a lot of this will be taken care of before I go back to work. I have taken some time to figure out where I want what and how I will organize everything, it can be a little exhausting just thinking about it but I want this to change. I am also choosing to simplify so that we don't have as much stuff to put up or clean. We will be remodeling our house this year so I want all the things that we don't use gone. Together Michael and I will come up with a weekly cleaning schedule so that we aren't doing everything on the weekends. We are also going to get our kiddos more involved. We have here and there, nothing consistent plus it just gets done faster when we do it. I have to remember that we are raising future adults and I want them to know how to do things on their own. I want my home to be refuge for my family. I know that not everything will be perfect all the time and I will give my self grace in this area. I will post before and after photos as I go along. Come back tomorrow as I reveal goal #'s 3 and 4.

P.S. You will not see me on a future episode of hoarders, Promise!

My 2012

WOW! It's hard to believe that a whole year has flown by! Now is the time many people start thinking about what they want to accomplish in the new year. Lately there have been so many things on my mind that I want to accomplish in 2012 that it has made my mind spin. So I have decided to look at some different areas of my life and pick one or two things that I would like to work on in 2012. So over the next couple of days I will tell which area I am going to work on and how.

1. Health
I know I say every year that I want to loose weight and become healthy. Just like a lot of people it sticks for about a month and then it goes out the door. This year it's going to be about making peace with body and food. My faith is extremly important to me and up until this point I haven't invited God on my journey. That is what will be different this time, I can't do this without God's help. I have read a wonderful book called Made To Crave by Lysa Terkeurst and will be doing an online bible study with this book. I have to admit that I haven't been so nice to myself, picking myself apart everytime I look in the mirror. That is something that I am stopping NOW. I won't get anywhere with that type of thinking. The other thing I will be doing is an online class called Body Restoration put on by the ladies of http://www.bravegirlsclub.com/. I can't wait to do this and face some of the things I haven't wanted to deal with. Then I will also be doing a bootcamp starting at the end of January. Until that starts I will be doing Zumba 3 times a week. When I start to lack motivation I will draw close to God and read books about people that have done it already. To say I will never eat mexican food or pizza again is just crazy! So I will come up with a menu and stick to it every day then on the weekend if my family wants to go out to eat I can enjoy it without feeling guilty. I think this will help me feel less deprived. I have gone back and forth about if I should weigh myself or not. I have decided that I will once a week on the same day every week. I have to remeber that I am a Jesus girl and that number is not my worth just what my body weighs. Tomorrow I will let you know about the second area that I would like to work on.

What is a Brave Girl???

A few years ago I found this site www.bravegirlsclub.com. They will send you daily truths in your email, and WOW are the encouraging! They also offer online classes you can take to help restore your mind, body, and soul. I have really been struggling with some things lately, mostly things from my past. I had spent the last 10 years or so dealing with these things off and on and when I turned 30 I made a vow to myself that things would be different.  So this is the making of a Brave Girl, facing my past, forgiving myself and others, accepting me for who I am, and loving all of me.  I hope you will stick around to follow me through my journey.